Decisions

Life is full of decisions...some small, some big.  While some decisions are obviously life altering, others are secretly life altering. (Did you ever see that movie "Sliding Doors"?) I've always had trouble making decisions. I tend to overthink things, maybe because I'm fearful of having any regret. Even on the smallest level, like at a sandwich shop, it sometimes takes me forever to make up my mind. And then afterward, I'm like, "Damn, I should've gotten it toasted." So on a bigger level, it's often extra hard for me to make a decision. And then it feels impossible when you don't even know what your choices are!  I'm once again at this crossroads where I can go in just about any direction, but nothing feels right. I feel pressure to do something grand, something with passion, something that makes the world a better place...but what?

To add to this confusion in my head, I've really grown to like it here. I'd be quite happy living here longer, but I have this nagging feeling to do something more meaningful with my existence. (Something other than eat gelato, teach English to the privileged, and expand my knowledge of Italian wine.) Should I move back to the States? Find a job; settle down. Move to a different country? Find a purposeful job; create another temporary home. Return to Italy? Eat more gelato. 

Just as I was feeling really unsure about everything, I received a message from the Universe that read like this:

A Universal Rule on Decision Making...

Don't make them, Kristin, until it's time to make them.

Unless you already know what you want, in which case, however, there is no decision to be made.

OK, so decisions don't need to be made until it's time to make them. Got it. If you know what you want, then it's not technically "a decision." Got it. But what if you're like me, for example, and you're 37 years old and need a job after this job and a place to live after this place? Then what? Then I think it's time to make a decision. Or is it???? 

Why did he choose the middle doorway?
Why not the left? Or the right?
They lead to the same place....Or do they?

During the last two months, I've traveled just about every weekend and seen some more of what makes Italy so special. The best part was sharing part of it with my mom and aunts, who were here for ten days last month. 

Me & my mom in Florence!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pinch.)

Then a weekend in Cinque Terre was the best possible way to spend Natcho's last few days in Italy. 

Our hike down to Corniglia, through vineyards and wild flowers

Feeling a bit sad that my loved ones had all left, I realized I have loved ones here too! So Tatiana and I planned a road trip down south to a region I had never even heard of before: Marche. 

It's hard to say which region is the most beautiful, but Marche definitely comes in at the top. 

Despite feeling like I need a grand plan, I'm going to put my soulsearching on the back burner for now. With just five weeks remaining, my main focus is on spending more time with my favorite Italians, both my distant family and my new friends, who I know I'll miss deeply after I leave. And the other focus is to just enjoy each day. Sometimes the biggest decisions we make are to just get out of bed, go outside, be present, smile, experience & enjoy the little moments, and be kind to every single person we encounter. And for me, right now, that's enough.